| Recently the well known American news
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| | When my mother got cancer, Brian
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| anchor Peter Jennings died of lung cancer
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| | continued, "Her approach was kind of the
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| just a few months after he publicly
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| | opposite. She wanted to live, but she
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| announced that he had the disease and
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| | never said she was going to fight this
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| that he was going to fight it with
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| | cancer. One of the things I watched her
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| everything he had.
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| | do is that she decided to drop everything
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| After his death, I read some of the
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| | that was stressful from her life."
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| tributes that poured in about the life of
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| | Shopping was stressful for her, so she
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| Peter Jennings. One of the common themes
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| | dropped it. Driving a car was stressful
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| that appeared in the statements made by
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| | so she stopped driving. In fact, she
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| his friends and colleagues was that they
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| | stopped doing everything she didn't want
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| remembered what a determined, competitive
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| | to do, and she only kept the things she
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| man he was.
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| | really enjoyed.
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| They said that he took on his battle with
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| | And she made a point of becoming very
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| cancer head on, and that he fought his
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| | relaxed and enjoying her life.
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| cancer the way he battled everything,
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| | Then Brian told me, "This experience made
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| with steely will and determination. And
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| | me think that maybe the idea of fighting
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| unfortunately he didn't win.
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| | for your life when you have cancer is
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| Reading about Peter Jennings' losing
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| | like trying to fight off insomnia."
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| battle with lung cancer reminded me of
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| | "If you decide to fight insomnia by
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| another conversation I had had about
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| | gritting your teeth and saying 'I'm
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| cancer very recently.
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| | tough, I've fought lots of battles, I'm
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| Last week I had a meeting with one of my
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| | going to fight this insomnia and I' m
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| business associates, a man named Brian,
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| | going to beat this thing, well, you'll
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| to discuss some business matters.
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| | never fall asleep. It won't work."
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| After our business meeting was finished,
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| | Now I can't say that what seemed to work
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| Brian started telling me about his
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| | for Brian's mother in living with cancer
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| parent's experience of living with
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| | is the miracle key for anyone else who
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| cancer. A lot of what Brian had to say
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| | has cancer. This wasn't a scientific
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| was very thought provoking to me.
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| | study, and many other factors are
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| Brian told me that his mother had been
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| | involved.
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| diagnosed with a bad type of bone cancer
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| | But Brian's comments about his mother's
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| and doctors had told her that she had
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| | approach to living with cancer, and his
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| only a very short time to live. Yet in
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| | comments about trying to use will power
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| spite of the fact that her cancer kept
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| | to fight insomnia are worth keeping in
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| spreading to other parts of her body, she
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| | mind when we are facing a problem. Not
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| managed to live fourteen years longer
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| | every problem can be solved with will
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| than what her doctors had originally
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| | power and determination.
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| predicted.
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| | In such fields as business and sports, an
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| Brian said that he often wondered why his
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| | attitude of determination and
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| mother managed to live such a long time
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| | competitiveness can be very useful, and
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| with cancer when many of his younger
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| | can be highly rewarded. If we have been
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| friends who got cancer died of it quite
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| | very successful in these fields by being
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| quickly.
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| | high powered, determined and aggressive,
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| Brian told me "I come from a sports and
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| | we may try to use the same approach to
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| athletic background, and so a lot of my
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| | tackle every problem. Aggressively and
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| friends are athletes. My athletic
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| | head-on. With grit and determination.
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| friends tend to be very focused and
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| | However, being aggressive and determined
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| competitive people, and they're used to
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| | does not work on every kind of problem.
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| being very aggressive. When they were
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| | If your mate is unhappy in your marriage,
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| diagnosed with cancer, I watched them go
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| | or your child has a serious illness, or
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| into their competitive and athletic mode,
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| | if you have too much stress in your life,
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| and they would say 'I'm going to fight
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| | then using determination and aggression
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| this thing'.
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| | will not solve these problems. In these
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| They would fight their cancer the same
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| | situations, aggressiveness does not work.
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| way they fought their athletic battles,
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| | We need to recognize those situations
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| with gritted teeth and courage and
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| | where another approach might work better.
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| determination.
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| | Sometimes what we need to do is relax
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| Brian said, "What I noticed about these
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| | more, let go of our illusion that we can
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| guys who were so tough and fought cancer
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| | control everything, become more humble,
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| so hard was that in a lot of cases they
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| | and be open to living in the moment even
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| burned out really soon.
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| | when we don't know all the answers.
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