| Recently the well known American news anchor | | | | approach was kind of the opposite. She wanted to |
| Peter Jennings died of lung cancer just a few months | | | | live, but she never said she was going to fight this |
| after he publicly announced that he had the disease | | | | cancer. One of the things I watched her do is that |
| and that he was going to fight it with everything he | | | | she decided to drop everything that was stressful |
| had. | | | | from her life." |
| After his death, I read some of the tributes that | | | | Shopping was stressful for her, so she dropped it. |
| poured in about the life of Peter Jennings. One of the | | | | Driving a car was stressful so she stopped driving. In |
| common themes that appeared in the statements | | | | fact, she stopped doing everything she didn't want |
| made by his friends and colleagues was that they | | | | to do, and she only kept the things she really |
| remembered what a determined, competitive man he | | | | enjoyed. |
| was. | | | | And she made a point of becoming very relaxed and |
| They said that he took on his battle with cancer | | | | enjoying her life. |
| head on, and that he fought his cancerthe way he | | | | Then Brian told me, "This experience made me think |
| battled everything, with steely will and determination. | | | | that maybe the idea of fighting for your life when |
| And unfortunately he didn't win. | | | | you have cancer is like trying to fight off insomnia." |
| Reading about Peter Jennings' losing battle with lung | | | | "If you decide to fight insomnia by gritting your teeth |
| cancer reminded me of another conversation I had | | | | and saying 'I'm tough, I've fought lots of battles, I'm |
| had about cancer very recently. | | | | going to fight this insomnia and I' m going to beat this |
| Last week I had a meeting with one of my business | | | | thing, well, you'll never fall asleep. It won't work." |
| associates, a man named Brian, to discuss some | | | | Now I can't say that what seemed to work for |
| business matters. | | | | Brian's mother in living with cancer is the miracle key |
| After our business meeting was finished, Brian | | | | for anyone else who has cancer. This wasn't a |
| started telling me about his parent's experience of | | | | scientific study, and many other factors are involved. |
| living with cancer. A lot of what Brian had to say was | | | | But Brian's comments about his mother's approach to |
| very thought provoking to me. | | | | living with cancer, and his comments about trying to |
| Brian told me that his mother had been diagnosed | | | | use will power to fight insomnia are worth keeping in |
| with a bad type of bone cancer and doctors had told | | | | mind when we are facing a problem. Not every |
| her that she had only a very short time to live. Yet in | | | | problem can be solved with will power and |
| spite of the fact that her cancer kept spreading to | | | | determination. |
| other parts of her body, she managed to live | | | | In such fields as business and sports, an attitude of |
| fourteen years longer than what her doctors had | | | | determination and competitiveness can be very |
| originally predicted. | | | | useful, and can be highly rewarded. If we have been |
| Brian said that he often wondered why his mother | | | | very successful in these fields by being high |
| managed to live such a long time with cancer when | | | | powered, determined and aggressive, we may try to |
| many of his younger friends who got cancer died of | | | | use the same approach to tackle every problem. |
| it quite quickly. | | | | Aggressively and head-on. With grit and |
| Brian told me "I come from a sports and athletic | | | | determination. |
| background, and so a lot of my friends are athletes. | | | | However, being aggressive and determined does not |
| My athletic friends tend to be very focused and | | | | work on every kind of problem. |
| competitive people, and they're used to being very | | | | If your mate is unhappy in your marriage, or your |
| aggressive. When they were diagnosed with cancer, | | | | child has a serious illness, or if you have too much |
| I watched them go into their competitive and athletic | | | | stress in your life, then using determination and |
| mode, and they would say 'I'm going to fight this | | | | aggression will not solve these problems. In these |
| thing'. | | | | situations, aggressiveness does not work. |
| They would fight their cancer the same way they | | | | We need to recognize those situations where |
| fought their athletic battles, with gritted teeth and | | | | another approach might work better. |
| courage and determination. | | | | Sometimes what we need to do is relax more, let go |
| Brian said, "What I noticed about these guys who | | | | of our illusion that we can control everything, |
| were so tough and fought cancer so hard was that | | | | become more humble, and be open to living in the |
| in a lot of cases they burned out really soon. | | | | moment even when we don't know all the answers. |
| When my mother got cancer, Brian continued, "Her | | | | |